TODAY’S GENIUS AWARD GOES TO . . . . . . .
Jacqueline Patrick, 55, a British woman who tried to poison her 70-year-old husband, but failed because she’s a bad speller.
Patrick, who is on trial for attempted murder, was unhappily married and tried to poison her husband by putting antifreeze in his drink during Christmas in 2013.
He was rushed to the hospital where she provided a forged note saying he didn’t want to be resuscitated.
The problem is that the word “dignity” was misspelled “dignerty.”
The husband managed to survive and the cops suspected her so they had her write the word “dignity” as a test.
She misspelled it “dignerty” again and was arrested for attempted murder.
A judge sentenced her to 15 years in prison on Monday.
AND THEN THERE’S …..
Hector Anaya Segura, 29, who was attending the Drug Policy Reform Conference in Arlington, Virginia and ended up naked in a flower bed and high on bath salts.
The 2015 International Drug Policy Reform Conference is for people who think the war on drugs is more destructive than helpful, and needs to be fixed.
Police spotted Segura around midnight, naked in a flower bed and buzzed on bath salts.
When they tried to get him up he started screaming and sweating profusely and then he started banging on the cop car.
Officers were forced to Taser him twice, because the first time it had no effect on him.
He was charged with possession of bath salts and disorderly conduct.
OKAY, ONE MORE …..
Suzanne Dale, a 66-year-old woman in England, who almost burned her house down after she read online that you could make a grilled cheese by turning your toaster on its side.
Her toaster caught fire and as smoke filled the kitchen, she quickly threw the appliance out the window.
The fire began to build outside, so she called authorities, who arrived in time to stop the blaze.
Dale said, “I thought it might be a faster way of making cheese on toast.”
Of course, she snapped an image and uploaded it to Facebook.