TODAY’S GENIUS AWARD GOES TO . . . . . . .
Damon Matthews, 19, of Bay City, Michigan, who should have known if you’re 7’4″ tall you’re gonna be easy to ID if you commit a crime in your home town.
Matthews robbed a local 7-Eleven with a butcher knife and got the clerk to give him $35, and a few packs of Newport cigarettes.
Even though he was wearing a mask, the clerk recognized him from high school, and now he’s facing a felony armed robbery charge.
AND THEN THERE’S …..
A clothing company called SuperGurl, which is facing backlash for an ad they ran on Black Friday inviting people to “rape” them because of their low prices.
The ad, alongside the reference to sexual assault, shows a young woman suggestively posed from the waist up, with her eyes closed.
SuperGurl also posted a Black Friday ad Thursday night on Facebook with the tag, “Don’t Say Never.”
Creative Director Jordus Lim apologized for the ad and responded to the backlash in a Facebook post along with a photo simply saying “With Apologies” on a black background.
OR HOW ABOUT …..
An unidentified 51-year-old chronic flasher in Ypsilanti, Michigan, who was lured out of his house on Thanksgiving by a child’s drawing of a turkey that police put on his lawn.
The police had been getting a lot of calls about a guy who would flash people and also destroy his neighbors’ grass and flowers with poison and fire.
The police hatched a bizarre plan to get one of those hand-turkey drawings, put it on a stick, and plant it on his front lawn.
Police said when he went outside to look at it, he was arrested for indecent exposure.
OKAY, ONE MORE …..
Alex Rees, 26, of Manchester, England, who got dragged to a wedding by his girlfriend, got plastered, and caused over $30,000 in damages.
Rees didn’t know anyone at the wedding besides his girlfriend, so he decided to get super drunk, lost control, pushed his girlfriend, did $30,000 in damage, and smeared poop on the walls.
He was in court this week facing five counts of criminal damage and one count of assault.
He had a prior assault conviction, so he was just sentenced to one year and four months in prison.