TODAY’S GENIUS AWARD GOES TO . . . . . . .
Crystal Marshall, 34, who crashed her car into a South Carolina Walmart… because God told her to.
When officers arrived on the scene Marshall was standing in the middle of a crowd “screaming and causing a disturbance.”
According to the police report, when asked what happened, Marshall “began to speak of how the ‘rapture’ was coming,” and added that, “God told her to do it.”
Marshall was arrested for disorderly conduct and malicious injury to real property (police estimated that the crash caused $1,000 in damages to Walmart).
Officers stated that she didn’t appear under the influence of drugs or alcohol at the time of the incident.
OR HOW ABOUT …..
Antesha Smith, 23, who was arrested at a traffic stop in North Dakota with 108 stolen Texas Instruments graphing calculators.
Smith told police she purchased the specialty calculators and was headed to Las Vegas to sell them.
She was arrested after the cops found a tool that stores use to deactivate the security device on electronic items.
OKAY, ONE MORE …..
Dante Rashad Anderson, 36, who was arrested for robbing an Arby’s in Oklahoma and claiming he was from the future and needed food to take back with him.
The store manager said Anderson started shouting, jumped the counter, and grabbed a handful of bacon and chicken, and walked out.
He also broke a glass door on the way out, and started kicking cars while he crossed the street and ate his bacon.
Anderson allegedly told police he was born in the year 2020 and his ankle was broken because he walked here from the future.
He was arrested and placed in a current-era jail cell.