TODAY’S GENIUS AWARD GOES TO . . . . . . .
Richard Ward, 58, from Murrysville, Pennsylvania, who beat his mom with a cane on Mother’s Day, because she woke him from a drunken stupor.
Ward must have partied too hard on Mother’s Day.
His 87-year-old mom found him passed out in his car in her driveway.
When she woke him up he grabbed her cane and hit her with it.
He also kicked his sister in the back where she had recently had surgery.
He was arrested for aggravated assault and public drunkenness.
AND THEN THERE’S …..
Kevin Thorn, 27, who was arrested for misusing the 911 system after he said police needed to bring him to see his wife, who he claimed was Taylor Swift.
911 dispatchers received several calls from Thorn, who kept asking police to bring him to the Park Royal mental health facility in Florida to meet his wife, Taylor Swift.
Police told Thorn to leave the property and to stop calling 911, and Thorn complied and left the property.
However, he returned a few minutes later and called 911 again.
Police arrested him for trespassing and abusing the 911 system.
OR HOW ABOUT …..
A clumsy Walmart shoplifter in Canada, who fell flat on her face while trying to outrun an employee.
The female suspect made a mad dash out of the store desperately trying to get her full cart of stolen goods back to her car.
However, as the woman sprinted across the parking lot, she looked back over her shoulder and tripped, falling flat on her face.
All the stolen goods spilled across the ground.
The woman got up, left the goods on the ground, and drove off.
The retailer said the woman had more than $650 worth of items in her cart at the time.
Police are looking for the suspect.
OKAY, ONE MORE …..
Robert Ahorner from Elkhorn, Wisconsin, 57, who threatened to shoot himself in his junk after his wife got mad at him for watching porn.
Ahorner got drunk and was watching some porn when his wife walked in on him.
An argument ensued and Robert pulled out a gun and said to his wife, “If I’m not using it, I might as well shoot it off.”
She got out of the room as he fired several shots through the floor.
Ahorner was charged with felony endangering safety and misdemeanor disorderly conduct.