TODAY’S GENIUS AWARD GOES TO . . . . . . .
Kenneth Shutes Jr, who escaped from the cops in Minnesota, but then called 911 for help because he was cold.
Shutes was pulled over in New Richmond, Minnesota.
He had a revoked license plus some weed on him, so he took off running.
He actually got away from officers.
The big problem—it was minus 8 degrees outside, and he ran into a swamp to hide.
Police received a call about an hour later from Shutes asking to turn himself in because he was freezing cold.
He said he couldn’t feel his legs in the cold, so he couldn’t walk and he needed them to rescue him.
Police tracked him down in the frozen swamp and took him to the hospital.
Shutes was later charged with three misdemeanors stemming from the incident: failure to obey an officer, marijuana possession and obstructing an officer.
AND THEN THERE’S …..
Duane Barry Smith, 52, an Alabama man, who allegedly beat his roommate because he caused a box of Cap’n Crunch cereal to get stale.
According to police, the victim said that Smith became upset upon discovering the stale cereal and blamed him for failing to keep the Cap’n Crunch fresh.
Smith was especially perturbed since he is missing teeth and had difficulty consuming the stale cereal.
The victim said Smith demanded him to remove his dentures so that he could experience how hard it was to consume the Cap’n Crunch.
When the man refused, Smith allegedly began striking the victim with an electrical cord.
Smith’s roommate suffered injuries to his face, hand, and arm.
Smith was arrested on domestic violence charges.
OR HOW ABOUT …..
A pair of bungling thieves, who attempted to snatch massive teddy bears from a roadside vendor in Arizona, but were foiled by a red light and some helpful witnesses.
A dash cam video showed the men fit the stuffed animals into their vehicle and appear set to make a getaway.
However, they were slowed by a red light.
At that point bystanders had enough time to run to the SUV, open its doors and take the stuffed animals back to roadside vendor.
The pair made their getaway minus the stuffed animals.
OKAY, ONE MORE …..
Alan Estrada, 28, who broke into a business in Van Nuys, California to use a computer to watch porn.
Here’s the real odd part, he wasn’t watching porn online, he brought his own CD that was filled with pornography.
A woman discovered Estrada and made the 9-1-1 call to police when she walked downstairs from her residence into her family’s business and noticed the computer was on.
The woman’s husband and son subdued the man until police arrived.
Estrada, a transient, was arrested on suspicion of residential burglary.