TODAY’S GENIUS AWARD GOES TO……
A police report states that hours after exchanging vows on a Florida beach, a newlywed couple was arrested after they got intoxicated and began battering each other inside a hotel room.
61-year-old Daniel Gillen and 49-year-old GeGee Riposta were married last weekend on Clearwater Beach. According to arrest affidavits, Gillen and Riposta subsequently “became intoxicated” and “were arguing throughout the day.”
Matters subsequently turned violent inside the couple’s room at the Clearwater Beach Hotel, as Gillen told cops that Riposta “physically started to attack him by scratching him on the chest.” Gillen “had noticeable scratch marks and injury to his torso which was consistent with his statements.”
Riposta said that Gillen grabbed her by the neck and pushed her to the ground. Riposta’s claim was supported by “noticeable scratches and scrape marks on her knee.” Gillen was arrested for misdemeanor domestic battery and was later released from custody on his own recognizance. Since Riposta had a prior battery conviction, she was charged with felony battery and had to post $500 bond to get out of jail.
AND THEN THERE’S……
An intoxicated Kansas man may face criminal charges after he was found this week attempting to have sex with the tailpipe of a parked automobile.
Police in Newton responded to a 9-1-1 call about a naked man beneath an automobile. Cops discovered the 24-year-old suspect was trying to place his penis into the tailpipe of the vehicle, which was parked outside an apartment complex.
The naked man was reportedly “oblivious” when contacted by cops. Despite the presence of officers, the suspect continued to try and have sex with the tailpipe. Due to his impairment, the suspect was transported to a local hospital for treatment.
The man’s blood alcohol content was measured at .35, more than four times the .08 legal limit. Following the bizarre incident, police sent the local prosecutor a report recommending the man be charged with lewd and lascivious behavior, a misdemeanor.
OR HOW ABOUT……
23-year-old Roman Anthony Mirra pleaded guilty to charges of first-degree attempted theft and third-degree assault after he tried to rob a Girl Scout cookie booth In Tacoma, Washington back in March of this year.
Mirra had reportedly approached a 10-year-old girl and her mother as they sold cookies on March 10th outside a grocery store. He asked the mother if her fanny pack was the “money bag.” He also asked how much the cookies cost. Eventually, he said: “Give me all your money and no one will get hurt.”
The mother said Mira lifted his sweatshirt and she saw what looked like a gun in his waistband. She said multiple times that she had nothing to give him, and in the end Mira quickly walked away.
OKAY, ONE MORE……
42-year-old Kenilworth School District Superintendent Thomas Tramaglini has been charged with pooping on the Holmdel, New Jersey school track.
The Holmdel High School track team wanted to know was who was pooping either on or near the track and football field. Students and coaches said they would find human feces on an almost daily basis. The Holmdel school resource officer was alerted to the problem, and started quietly monitoring the area every morning.
Tramaglini, a Matawan resident, was arrested and charged with the bizarre crime. He was charged with lewdness, littering, and defecating in public. According to NJ.com he was arrested at 5:50 a.m. this past Monday, April 30. His home is only a few miles away from the high school.
Tramaglini was due in Holmdel municipal court this morning, May 7th to answer to the charges, but that date has been pushed back and rescheduled. His case has officially been rescheduled to May 30 at 10:00 a.m.