TODAY’S GENIUS AWARD GOES TO……
Authorities said that a Denver woman was cited Thursday for allegedly causing damage to a 7-Eleven store’s microwave oven when she tried to heat a urine sample.
A store clerk reported seeing 26-year-old Angelique Sanchez place something in the Aurora, Colorado microwave before hearing a “loud bang” seconds later. The clerk reportedly told Sanchez to clean up the mess or she would alert police.
Sanchez then “wiped out the microwave onto the floor” with napkins and left. The clerk then called police and told them she noticed “yellow liquid dripping from the microwave and the smell was unquestionably urine.”
Police later found Sanchez about a half-mile away, at a health clinic where she was waiting to undergo a physical exam and urinalysis for a potential job. The officer said he issued Sanchez a summons for damaged property after informing her that the microwave is worth $500.
AND THEN THERE’S……
Brian Zielinski of Knoxville, Tennessee faces charges after a search yielded a super-glue huffing stash. Multiple people flagged down an officer in Market Square to report “odd behavior” by a man, who turned out to be Zielinski.
According to police, he refused to stop walking away when he was approached by officers. The reporting officer noted that Zielinski was “talking incoherently and appeared to be under the influence of some type of inhalant.”
Authorities said a search yielded two bottles of super glue in his front pants pocket and a sunglasses case containing small light bulbs with a straw attached to the end of the bulb. Zielinski allegedly told investigators the stash of supplies was for huffing glue.
Officers also reported finding a small electronic scale with a crystal-like residue in his bag. After being placed in handcuffs, Zielinski allegedly tried running away and was restrained on the ground. He has been charged with disorderly conduct, evading arrest, and inhale and possess intoxicants for unlawful purposes.
OR HOW ABOUT……
Three men who Cops say jumped a teenager in East Flushing, Queens, and stole the “Air Jordans” right off his feet tried to sell the shoes minutes after the robbery.
These men also found out the hard way that the sneakers were just knock-offs when they tried to sell them at a consignment shop. Not only that, the store’s surveillance camera captured crystal-clear video of them as they tried to cash in on the fake Jordans.
One employee of the store had no idea they were stolen and said, “It just seemed like a normal transaction. They didn’t stutter. They just told me they wanted to sell it.” He told the trio, “They’re fake. We can’t buy them.” Police released the footage last week as they continued to look for the trio.