TODAY’S GENIUS AWARD GOES TO……
A 42-year-old Pennsylvania man is facing assault and harassment charges after allegedly beating his mother with a Star Wars Lightsaber.
Police responding to a disturbance call at a home in Dubois found 75-year-old Joan Vargas being treated by EMS workers. Vargas was bleeding from gashes on her head and wrist.
Vargas told police that her son Andrew had “hit her repeatedly with what she called a light saber.” Vargas said she was sitting on a dining room chair when her son “began striking her with this saber in the head, on her back/neck area, and on her wrist.”
Andrew Vargas, who lives with his mother, was arrested on misdemeanor assault and harassment charges. He is being held in the Clearfield County jail in lieu of $10,000 bail. Andrew’s rap sheet includes prior convictions for theft, drunk driving, and criminal trespass.
AND THEN THERE’S……
A Virginia man who was twice spotted walking through a park wearing high heels and stockings–but no pants–has been arrested on indecent exposure charges.
Cops say that 37-year-old Jeffrey Battaglia was seen without pants on two separate occasions at Gypsy Hill Park in Staunton, a city about 40 miles from Charlottesville.
A male witness reported seeing a man with his genitals exposed wearing a black hat, black dinner jacket, and high heels. A week later, a female witness also got a look at the private parts of the suspect, who was wearing a black jacket, high heels, and stockings.
Police subsequently identified Battaglia, who lives about seven miles from Staunton, as the pants-less stroller. Battaglia was charged with two counts of misdemeanor indecent exposure.
OR HOW ABOUT……
91-year-old Johnnie Douglas of Richmond, England was arrested Monday after he opened fire at another McDonald’s customer in front of him at the drive-thru because the guy wasn’t moving fast enough.
Police say that Douglas engaged in a verbal dispute with 39-year-old Phillip T. Bailey outside of the fast food restaurant around 3:45 a.m. Richmond Police Department Captain Kevin Wampler said Douglas became infuriated that the service was too slow and vehicles in front of him were not moving forward.
That’s when he began arguing with Bailey, an off-duty McDonalds employee, and fired a shot toward him. Bailey then defended himself by throwing a smoothie at the elderly man. No injuries were reported from the incident.
The department’s news release states Douglas was jailed and charged with criminal recklessness as well as pointing a loaded firearm at another individual. Bailey was also jailed and charged with misdemeanor intimidation and disorderly conduct.
OKAY, ONE MORE……
A private zoo in central Alberta, Canada has been charged after a bear from the facility was taken through a Dairy Queen drive-thru in a pickup truck and fed ice cream through the vehicle’s window.
A video of the unusual feeding was posted on social media by Discovery Wildlife Park in Innisfail, Alta. It showed a one-year-old captive Kodiak bear named Berkley leaning out of a truck’s window and being hand fed ice cream by the owner of the local Dairy Queen.
Bear experts called the video irresponsible and disrespectful, but one of the zoo’s owners initially defended it, saying the message was supposed to be about safety. Zoo owner Doug Bos said, “The message was: Don’t feed the bears. Don’t stop on the side of the road. If everybody would listen to the video, that’s what the message was — don’t do this.”
Wildlife officers have now charged the zoo with one offense relating to the bear being taken for ice cream and another that stems from the bear leaving the facility on other occasions in 2017 without the province being notified. Discovery Wildlife Park owners Doug Bos and Debbie Rowland are scheduled to appear in provincial court in Red Deer, Alta., on May 28th.