TODAY’S GENIUS AWARD GOES TO……
25-year-old Stephen Elmore pleaded guilty to felony arson this week after he started a fire in retaliation to a prank. The incident took place in Colorado and involved Elmore getting drunk, passing out, and having phallic symbols drawn on his face.
One of Elmore’s roommates admitted that when he passed out she took a felt tip pen and drew penises on his face. Elmore discovered the drawings and initially confronted one of the men present, though Elmore’s female roommate eventually told him she was the one who did it.
Elmore then went downstairs to his room next to the garage and eventually started a fire in that garage. The roommates managed to put out the fire. Elmore must now undergo substance-abuse and mental-health evaluations and remain free of alcohol and drugs during a two-year probation sentence.
AND THEN THERE’S……
An elementary school principal in North Texas is discontinuing her tradition of “birthday spankings” to students after parents complained.
Alvord Independent School District Superintendent Randy Brown released a statement announcing an end to the spankings at Alvord Elementary School. Brown says the district received two complaints about Principal Bridget Williams’ tradition.
Brown expressed support for the practice. He says Williams decided “on her own account” to discontinue the celebratory spankings after eight years. Brown says Williams will still give students a hug or a high five on their birthdays. Some parents call the tradition inappropriate, but more than a dozen say it’s playful and fun.
OR HOW ABOUT……
A Wisconsin thief was caught on surveillance video yawning and struggling to stay awake while stealing a shopping cart of Red Bull worth approximately $250.
The unidentified man was captured on surveillance video rolling boxes of the energy drink out of a grocery store. The police department quipped, “Stealing can be exhausting…..Which is probably why this guy can’t stop yawning and why he has nearly $250 worth of stolen Red Bull in his cart!”
Details about where the crime happened and which direction the suspect fled were not released. Police urged anyone who recognized the person to call the station immediately.
OKAY, ONE MORE……
Authorities said a Minnesota bus driver is in trouble after she sent text messages, looked up “your mama” jokes on her phone, and disclosed personal information while transporting children.
39-year-old Brenda Carsten is facing 15 separate charges, including reckless driving and other traffic offenses, in Anoka County District Court after a parent complained about her distracted driving during her route.
According to video and audio recordings taken on the bus, Carsten was not wearing a seatbelt at the time and swerved throughout traffic lanes. She also allowed children to move freely about the bus and shared details of her personal life with students, including an “inappropriate life lesson” that contained profanities.
The video also showed Carsten texting on her cellphone and looking up “your mama” jokes on it. She then handed the cellphone to a student on the bus to read it aloud on its intercom system. Carsten, who also faces child endangerment charges, is scheduled to make her first court appearance in June after being charged by summons.