TODAY’S GENIUS AWARD GOES TO……
A man who was arrested for measuring his penis with a ruler while at a urinal inside a University of Iowa bathroom has struck a plea deal that will spare him jail time, but which requires completion of a sex offender treatment program.
44-year-old Thomas Morgan was arrested on multiple indecent exposure counts following a bizarre incident inside the school’s Main Library in Iowa City. Police reported that Morgan “partially turned his body towards the victim/witness,” who was using a urinal at the time. Morgan then “measured his penis against a cardboard ruler.”
The victim told cops that Morgan “made a comment regarding his size,” adding that he “felt weird and uncomfortable” seeing Morgan’s “semi-erect penis.” The man added that atop two of the urinals were cardboard rulers with “dark sharpie markings regarding penis size.”
During a court appearance, Morgan pleaded guilty to four counts of simple harassment. A plea agreement calls for him to receive a 30-day suspended sentence on each of the misdemeanor counts. Morgan will also serve a year of self-supervised probation and is prohibited from having contact with any victims for five years.
Police said that an intoxicated Illinois man became enraged by Burger King’s hours and stripped off his clothes in the street before striking a cop a few times.
Manuel Silverio of Plainfeild, Illinois had tried to patron the hamburger chain around 2:00 a.m. on Sunday. According to the fast food restaurant’s website, it closes at 12:00 a.m.
A Deputy Police Chief said “He was visibly upset the business was closed and was banging on the drive-thru, screaming at the employees inside,” and “He was heavily intoxicated.”
Officers were called around 2:15 a.m. to the chain by employees complaining about the drunk and violent man. When officers arrived, Silverio hit the window again before he “proceeded to strip naked, then put his pants back on.”
After determining no property had been damaged and no one was injured, the police contacted one of Silverio’s relatives to pick him up. However, after a police sergeant tried to help the man put his shirt back on, Silverio hit him. Silverio was arrested and charged with public indecency, resisting a police officer, and aggravated battery.
OR HOW ABOUT……
A drunken Florida man has been charged with driving under the influence after crashing into a stopped and unmarked sheriff’s vehicle.
The Florida Highway Patrol says Rida Boualam was headed to his girlfriend’s house when he hit the back of an Orange County sheriff’s vehicle. He told officers that he had two beers before leaving home though authorities say they also found an open beer can in his car.
Troopers said Boualam had a blood alcohol level of .154, nearly twice Florida’s legal limit. He’s been charged with impaired driving, careless driving, and possessing an open container of alcohol in a vehicle.
OKAY, ONE MORE……
An Iowa man unhappy with waiting in a police station lobby area broke into a secured area and was promptly arrested.
According to police, 33-year-old Andrew Matthew Reagan came to the police station with an assault victim around 10:00 p.m. last Friday night. He was apparently unhappy with having to wait in the lobby area and began tinkering with the door.
An officer in another part of the building talked with Reagan through an intercom, telling him that police were busy and officers would take his friend’s report when one was available. Reagan allegedly responded that an officer would be available once he got past the front door.
Police took the comment as a threat, and Reagan was arrested when he defeated the lock and opened the door. He was charged with second-degree burglary and possession of burglary tools.