TODAY’S GENIUS AWARD GOES TO……
A sick, twisted Washington man carrying methamphetamine is accused of sexually assaulting a beaver after the animal was struck by a vehicle. According to investigators, the animal was run over by a car in park in Kennewick, a city just north of the Oregon border.
Upon seeing the animal get hit, a female witness wrapped the beaver in a towel and went to her residence to retrieve a container in which to place the injured animal. When the woman returned to the park, she discovered a man–whose pants were unzipped–atop the beaver. The witness called 9-1-1.
Rennewick Police Department officers responding to the park then arrested 35-year-old Richard Martin Delp. Cops say Delp “admitted to the crime” and a search subsequent to Delp’s arrest turned up methamphetamine.
Charged with animal cruelty and narcotics possession, Delp is being held without bail in the Benton County jail. It is unclear whether Delp, who has a lengthy rap sheet, was under the influence when he allegedly mounted the beaver.
AND THEN THERE’S……
A Florida man landed in jail Tuesday after police say he was caught with nearly 200 illegally harvested lobster tails in his car.
A Middle Keys Deputy initially stopped 25-year-old Yordy Escalante Carrillo for a traffic infraction. The Monroe County Sheriff’s Office says Carrillo was driving a car with an unreadable tag.
During the traffic stop, the deputy told Carrillo he could smell marijuana in the car. Carrillo didn’t understand because he only spoke Spanish. A Spanish speaking Sergeant arrived to help translate and Carrillo denied having anything illegal in the car.
During a search of the vehicle, the deputy found a large plastic container filled with wrung lobster tails. Carrillo admitted the lobsters were his and that he had speared them all that night. Carrillo was cited for possession of 191 speared lobsters, possession of 150 undersized lobsters, and possession of 185 over-the-limit lobsters.
OR HOW ABOUT……
Investigators in Florida say they have arrested a tourist from New Jersey who told greeters at a Disney World resort that al-Qaida sent him to “blow the place up.”
Orange County Sheriff’s deputies arrested 56-year-old Gregory Lazarchick on Tuesday on a charge of making a false bomb threat.
According to an arrest report, Lazarchick made the threat July 21 at Saratoga Springs Resort as employees were asking guests about their day, and then told them he wasn’t joking.
News outlets report Lazarchick later admitted to saying something about al-Qaida when deputies spoke to him. But he said he didn’t remember exactly what he said.
He was reportedly remorseful and apologetic. Lazarchick’s sister told investigators he suffered a head injury and sometimes says inappropriate things.
OKAY, ONE MORE……
A man in San Antonio, Texas was arrested after sheriff’s deputies found 200 pounds of marijuana inside his home. The man, identified by authorities as 29-year-old Robert Hernandez, was arrested Friday after officials with the Bexar County Sheriff’s Office’s narcotics unit executed a search warrant at his home.
The Sheriff’s office said, “Narcotics deputies seized several bags of marijuana which were inside a refrigerator and located multiple bags of marijuana throughout the residence totaling to approximately 200 pounds.”
They added that the deputies also “seized a 9mm handgun with a magazine, packaging materials, and a digital scale in the residence.” Hernandez was arrested officially for possession of marijuana 50 lbs-2,000 lbs. He was taken to a local jail.