TODAY’S GENIUS AWARD GOES TO……
A man walked into a Virginia supermarket Saturday afternoon and, after pulling down his pants, began “rubbing the produce on his buttocks” before re-shelving the items, according to police who arrested him on a pair of criminal charges.
Cops arrived at the Giant Food store in Manassas around 4:30 PM in response to a 911 call about destruction of property. A store worker told Manassas City Police Department officers that the suspect was spotted “picking up produce, pulling down his pants, rubbing the produce on his buttocks, and replacing the produce back on the shelf.”
The suspect, identified as 27-year-old Michael Dwayne Johnson, was arrested inside the supermarket. Johnson, a Manassas resident, was charged with indecent exposure and destruction of property, both misdemeanors.
Cops also reported that in response to Johnson’s handling of the merchandise, Giant Store workers “had to destroy several pallets of produce.”
AND THEN THERE’S……
Cumberland County President Judge Edward E. Guido couldn’t suppress a chuckle as Devon Ruoss stood before him to enter a guilty plea Tuesday morning. After all, the man had tried to outrun a bevy of Carlisle cops on a bicycle. And one of the officers was in a cruiser with lights flashing and siren blaring.
As Senior District Attorney Daniel Sodus explained it, Ruoss, 41, began his ill-fated two-wheeled flight around 3:00 p.m. on July 26th after a borough officer recognized him as a wanted man. Two days earlier, Ruoss had been accused of punching a woman.
So, the officer ordered Ruoss to stop when he spied him on the street. Instead, Ruoss pedaled away with the cruiser in pursuit, Sodus said. “Several officers on foot tried to stop Mr. Ruoss as well,” the prosecutor added.
Ruoss pleaded guilty to fleeing police for the bike chase and to simple assault for the punching incident. His only deal is for a county prison term that has yet to be determined by Guido.
OR HOW ABOUT……
Washington County Sheriff’s deputies have arrested a man who’s accused of dumping a dilapidated mobile home at Echo Shaw Elementary School in Cornelius. The owner of the trailer had offered $1,000, on Craigslist, to have it removed.
35-year-old Derek Conley allegedly responded to the ad. He removed half of the trailer on Saturday and left it at the school. Late Monday night, Conley returned to remove the second half of the trailer and deputies arrested him.
Conley is charged with second-degree criminal mischief, offensive littering, and an outstanding probation violation warrant for felon in possession of a firearm. He is currently being lodged at the Washington County Jail.
OKAY, ONE MORE……
A 15-year-old boy is accused of driving drunk with an infant in the back seat. Mount Pleasant police say the baby’s mother and another teen in the car were also intoxicated.
Just after 10:30 p.m. Sunday, police responded to a call about a reckless driver on the road. “Someone saw the driver swerving and driving at various speeds,” said Sgt. Eric Relich of the Mount Pleasant Police Department.
An officer spotted the vehicle driving roughly 25 miles an hour over the speed limit. Relich said, “The witness saw him driving into oncoming traffic.” The car stopped near a gas and that’s where police made contact with the teen behind the wheel.
Police found alcohol, two other intoxicated teens, and a baby boy in the back seat. Relich said, “A 5-month-old infant who was being cared for by these three intoxicated individuals.”
Prosecutors said the infant’s 19-year-old mother was so intoxicated, she could not stand straight and had incoherent speech. She is charged with child neglect. The teen driver was taken into custody as well.