TODAY’S GENIUS AWARD GOES TO……
Cops say that a Florida Woman battered her boyfriend after he “said no and went back to bed” after she “grabbed his genitals wanting to have sex” on Thanksgiving night. 31-year-old Rebecca Lynn Phelps was arrested for domestic battery following a confrontation in the Tampa-area home she shares with the victim and the couple’s child.
Phelps’s arrest was the second time in fourteen months that she was busted for allegedly battering a man who did not want to have sex with her. In September 2017, Phelps was arrested after allegedly getting mad at a man “because he did not want to have sexual relations with her.”
Phelps screamed at the victim and smacked him “so hard on the right side of his face it left redness on his face.” She also allegedly scratched the man’s arm, causing it to bleed. It is unclear whether the victim in the 2017 matter is the same man in the current case. A judge has ordered Phelps to have no contact with the current victim.
AND THEN THERE’S……
A man was arrested after police say he used a scooter to try and break into a bank in Nashville. According to an affidavit from Metro Nashville Police, officers were called to the Bank of America Plaza on Union Street for a burglary call.
Witnesses reported seeing the suspect, identified as Curtis Causey, swinging a Bird scooter at the door. Officers arrived in time to see him trying to run from the scene and managed to take him into custody. A witness later identified him as the suspect.
As he was being booked, police said he claimed he would “run from the police every time. I’m not going to make it easy for you to arrest me.” He was charged with criminal impersonation, vandalism and evading arrest.
The incident caused $2,000 worth of damage to the door and some patio furniture. The scooter was destroyed.
OR HOW ABOUT……
Cops say that a Florida Man upset that his baked potato was undercooked allegedly stabbed a woman in the head with a fork in a domestic spud rage incident.
36-year-old Kenneth Crumpton was busted today on a felony aggravated battery with a weapon charge in connection with the 12:30 a.m. attack inside a Jacksonville-area residence. Crumpton is being held in the Nassau County jail in lieu of $25,000 bond.
Investigators charge that Crumpton, displeased with the preparation of his potato, repeatedly stabbed the victim in the head with a fork. Police noted that blood was visible on the woman’s head, and that she had suffered multiple stab wounds.
During questioning, Crumpton told cops that he did not stab the woman. Instead, he claimed to have thrown the fork, which “glanced off her head.” The woman was not seriously injured and declined a police offer of medical assistance.
OKAY, ONE MORE……
According to reports, a skinny-dipping couple on vacation in Florida was allegedly busted getting hot and heavy at the beach — while families were trying to cool off in the ocean.
26-year-old Tiana Maranville and her husband, 27-year-old Alexander Maranville, were arrested Saturday afternoon for indecent exposure on a Sanibel beach. Police said they responded to outraged calls about the frisky couple around 4:00 p.m. and found the wife completely naked at the beach in front of children.
Several witnesses told officers they saw the couple have sex in the water and they were roaming the shore naked. Tiana Maranville admitted to police that she entered the water topless, but lost her bathing suit bottom on accident.
Her husband then approached the officers and argued about the legality of swimming nude, saying to police that “we are all human.” The couple claimed they didn’t know that nudity at a public beach was illegal because they were on vacation from Vermont. Both the wife and husband were booked at Lee County Jail.