TODAY’S GENIUS AWARD GOES TO……
Collier County Deputies say that a North Naples woman claiming to be God held up a postal truck, stole a single package, and fled on a tricycle.
52-year-old Leida Crisostomo of Naples was arrested by patrol units at 4:00 p.m. The report states that while being cuffed, Crisostomo “yelled that she was God” and that “voices were telling her to do things.”
Earlier that day, deputies reported, the woman pointed a gun at a jogger and stopped a U.S. Postal Service mail truck. Crisostomo stole one package and escaped via tricycle. The pistol was later found to be a plastic fake. Crisostomo was charged with felony armed robbery and aggravated assault.
AND THEN THERE’S……
A Fort Worth man accused of shooting his wife’s laptop because her music was too loud was arrested after a standoff with police. 44-year-old Gary Lee Lykins was booked into the Fort Worth Jail and charged with deadly conduct, a third-degree felony.
Police were called at about 2:00 a.m. to the couple’s home in northwest Fort Worth. Investigators say the wife was playing music on her laptop when Lykins grabbed a handgun and shot the computer.
A police spokesman said, “The debris from the laptop caused minor injuries, though it’s unclear whether an ambulance was needed.” When officers arrived, Lykins was holed up in the house with “access to several firearms.” A SWAT team was called, but he surrendered before they arrived.
OR HOW ABOUT……
Police say that a man in Turlock, California stole a car, attempted to flee from officers at a speed of over 110 mph, crashed, and hid in a cattle pen covered in cow excrement before surrendering after getting too cold.
The Stanislaus County Auto Theft Task Force (StanCATT) told the Modesto Bee that 40-year-old Bryan Woolever stole a Kia Optima, but was pulled over by a StanCATT agent and a member of the Turlock Police Department.
StanCATT officials said that Woolever initially pulled over, but randomly sped away in the middle of the traffic stop, nearly striking the StanCATT agent. Woolever reportedly drove faster than 110 mph in the Kia Optima, and officers decided not to pursue him due to the potential safety risks of a police chase at that speed.
The Stanislaus County Sheriff Department’s helicopter was used to track Woolever, who ended up crashing into a pile of dirt near a dairy farm. Woolever exited the vehicle and attempted to flee on foot, and ultimately hid in one of the dairy farm’s cattle pens. When police dogs eventually located the pen Woolever was hiding in, he was surrounded by around 100 cows and was covered in their feces.
OKAY, ONE MORE……
Talk about terrible timing — two women were caught allegedly stealing $1,900 worth of electronics from a Bloomfield Township, Michigan Target on the same day the store was packed with police for a Shop with a Cop event.
About 15 police officers from four departments — Sylvan Lake, Keego Harbor, Orchard Lake and Bloomfield Township — were at the Target at 2400 Telegraph Wednesday night, helping 22 disadvantaged children pick out Christmas presents for their families.
40-year-old Keiana Wilson and 18-year-old Dana Johnson were also there. Brown said store loss prevention officers watched on cameras as the women loaded a cart with two Apple watches, two iPads and a Nintendo gaming system. At about 7:30 p.m., they walked past the registers without paying.
A police sergeant said, “The loss prevention officers actually apprehended them, then they asked for police assistance. The police officers were only about 20 feet away when they tried to walk out of the store.”