TODAY’S GENIUS AWARD GOES TO……
Back on Christmas Eve, a crappy prank landed a Pennsylvania man in jail on arson and other criminal charges. Firefighters and cops were dispatched following a report that a “bag of dog poop was lit on fire on a porch” in Shippensburg.
A female tenant told police she was awoken when other residents spotted the fire and began “yelling to call 9-1-1 and to get out of the house.” The fire was quickly extinguished and there was no damage to the residence.
Asked who might have set the bag of feces on fire, the tenant fingered 18-year-old Dylan Printz “due to them having a falling out that night and she told him he could not stay or be there anymore.”
Police subsequently located Printz, who reportedly copped to starting the fire. He said that he “grabbed a brown paper bag from a Chinese food order” and filled it with dog poop. He then “put the bag of feces on the porch and lit it on fire with a Bic lighter.”
AND THEN THERE’S……
A Massachusetts man accused of robbing a bank branch with a stick was captured after he fell out of a tree. 30-year-old Michael V. Taylor was arrested Monday after a four-hour search by police from five different departments. He was charged with armed robbery, resisting arrest, and failure to stop for police.
Taylor allegedly demanded money from a teller at the People’s United Bank at about 9:30 a.m. His weapon in the Christmas Eve robbery was a stick. He then fled the bank in a red Jeep and soon after a State Police lieutenant tried to pull him over, but he refused to stop.
Taylor allegedly stopped the jeep in Holyoke and ran across the highway into the woods. That set off an intensive search and State Police and Easthampton K9 officers assisted with their dogs.
Northampton Police Chief Jody Kasper said Taylor was able to elude police for hours until his hiding place gave way. Kasper said, “The tree branch that the suspect was standing on broke, sending him to the ground, sack of stolen cash in hand.” Taylor again tried to run away from police, but he was apprehended.
OR HOW ABOUT……
A Maine man is facing a number of charges after authorities say he broke into a Waterboro home, grabbed a bite to eat, took a shower, then got a car ride from his victim.
35-year-old Derek Tarbox was arrested and is facing charges of class B burglary, two counts of unauthorized use of property, leaving the scene of property damage accident, failure to report an accident, and theft by unauthorized taking.
The York County Sheriff’s Office said Tarbox was found watching television when a Bennet Hill Road resident arrived home Sunday. Authorities said Tarbox told the homeowner he mistakenly thought the house belonged to a friend and asked for a ride home.
The homeowner told authorities that seemed plausible, so he drove him to a house in Hollis, which actually belonged to Tarbox’s relatives. When the victim returned, he realized his home had been ransacked and that Tarbox had broken in through a back door. The homeowner called police and deputies and troopers were able to quickly apprehend Tarbox without incident.
OKAY, ONE MORE……
A Florida Keys man pulled over for speeding Christmas Eve locked his keys inside his car when Monroe County Sheriff’s Office deputies told him they were going to search the vehicle.
Deputies found small amounts of cocaine, heroin, methamphetamine, amphetamine pills, and marijuana inside the Lexus of 40-year-old Charles Albert Garcia. Deputy Jason Farr explained that he pulled Garcia over shortly after 11:00 p.m. Monday after clocking him on his radar driving his Lexus 70 mph in a 45-mph zone.
Farr asked Garcia for his license, but Garcia said it was suspended but would be reinstated soon. After Farr said he was going to search the Lexus, Garcia threw the keys inside the vehicle and locked the doors. A towing company unlocked the door, and deputies searched the vehicle, finding the drugs.