TODAY’S GENIUS AWARD GOES TO……
After being caught having sex in a hot tub at an Ohio water park, a couple was arrested last Tuesday evening on trespassing and disorderly conduct charges after they fled from security personnel. Cops allege that 25-year-old Kamden Mack and 22-year-old Taylor Coats were trysting in a spa at the Kalahari Resort when they were spotted by a lifeguard.
When the lovebirds refused to leave, police were summoned to the water park, which advertises “hair-raising water-slides, world-class spas, kids’ play areas, and diverse dining options.” During Mack’s and Coats’s 8:00 p.m. hot tub frolics, cops noted that “several families” were “seated at surrounding tables with young children.”
After cops arrived at the resort, Mack and Coats allegedly took off running from security guards. Mack was subsequently tackled, handcuffed, and placed in the rear of a police cruiser, from which he later bolted due to a malfunctioning lock. He was again tackled, this time by a cop, and returned to the squad car.
Coats, who was apprehended inside her hotel room, was charged with two misdemeanors–persistent disorderly conduct and criminal trespassing. Mack was charged with the same misdemeanors as Coats, but he was also hit with a felony escape count for running from the patrol car.
AND THEN THERE’S……
A drive-thru customer enraged by the paucity of meat on his Mexican pizza stormed a Taco Bell in South Carolina and “walked into the kitchen area and began making his own food,” police report.
According to cops, the suspect entered the Taco Bell in Spartanburg Wednesday afternoon complaining that “there was not enough meat on his Mexican pizza.” A store employee told cops that she “re-made the suspect’s food.”
The man was equally displeased with his second pizza and demanded a refund. When told that was not possible since a manager was not on the premises, the suspect became “enraged,” declaring that he “would show the employees how to make his food the appropriate way.”
The man then “walked behind the counter into the kitchen area and began making his own food.” A Taco Bell worker noted that the suspect “did not follow proper health/safety guidelines” by not wearing “protective gloves while making his food.”
Police expect to retrieve video surveillance footage recorded by Taco Bell security cameras. If apprehended, the suspect faces possible misdemeanor larceny and trespass charges.
OR HOW ABOUT……
A North Carolina man who was charged with driving while impaired asked an officer to share a bottle of Fireball Whiskey that had been confiscated during an earlier stop.
33-year-old Kyle Ryan Elliot was charged with driving while impaired, failure to maintain lane control, failure to stop at appropriate marked stop, and failure to comply with license restrictions and a DMV address change violation.
Elliott reportedly had glassy eyes and the smell of alcohol on his breath. After getting two positive indications of alcohol from a breathalyzer and completing field sobriety tests, Elliott was taken into custody.
As he was being placed into the back of the patrol car, he saw a bottle of Fireball Whiskey in the front floorboard of the car that had been confiscated during a previous arrest. He told the officer, “You could have shared, I’m already drunk.”
OKAY, ONE MORE……
A Florida woman is accused of shooting her boyfriend in the armpit for snoring too loudly at the mobile home they share together. 47-year-old Lorie Morin has been arrested on charges of attempted murder and aggravated battery after her live-in partner was rushed to hospital via the air ambulance.
Footage from the scene showed the victim, named by police as Brett Allgood, being airlifted away on a stretcher after police were called to the home in Cocoa around 10.20pm Wednesday. Initial investigations had suggested the shooting was accidental.
But after speaking to her boyfriend police determined that the row escalated because the man was snoring loudly. The victim is said to be in a stable condition at hospital. He was found lying at the foot of the bed in a pool of blood after being shot in his right armpit.
The arrest affidavit states how Morin told officers the couple had been drinking Captain Morgan rum and playing rummy. She tried creating bogus stories, such as that her partner tried to remove the gun from her hands when it accidentally went off. She is currently jailed without bond at the Brevard County Jail/