TODAY’S GENIUS AWARD GOES TO……
A domestic dispute over pickleball turned violent and resulted in the arrest of a 61-year-old Florida woman for allegedly pummeling her husband in the couple’s residence in The Villages retirement community.
In response to a domestic battery complaint, a police officer arrived at 1:45 a.m. Monday to the Wildwood home shared by Lan Augustus and her 67-year-old spouse. Augustus’s husband told the cop that the couple “got into a verbal altercation regarding a pickleball clinic that was being offered in The Villages.”
After exchanging words, the man said that Augustus twice struck him in the face with a closed fist. He also alleged that when the argument sparked up again after an hour, Augustus again punched him in the face, shoved him, and struck his foot with a small metal easel.
When she was questioned, Augustus said that the couple “got into a verbal altercation…regarding a pickleball membership.” She claimed that she only slapped her husband after he chest-bumped her. She was subsequently arrested for battery on a person over the age of 65, a felony.
AND THEN THERE’S……
A Pennsylvania man named Sober was arrested for…well, you know where this is going. 44-year-old Daniel Sober was busted Saturday evening for drunk driving following a police stop near his home in Lower Burrell, a Pittsburgh suburb.
A breath test, cops say, recorded Sober’s blood alcohol content at .194, more than twice the legal limit. Sober, was charged with drunk driving and careless driving, according to court records. After being booked, Sober was released on his own recognizance. He is next scheduled to appear in court on March 20.
OR HOW ABOUT……
A man from Austin, Arkansas, was issued his seventh DWI Sunday, March 4th. On Sunday morning, deputies found a man later identified as 34-year-old Angus Lee Murray from Austin, asleep in his truck at a North Little Rock gas station. Authorities woke him up, but Murray sped off.
Sheriff’s deputies ended up in a car chase with Murray throughout North Little Rock neighborhoods until he ended up crashing into a tree. According to the report, Murray then tried to run away but fell into a hole and that’s when deputies arrested him.
He’s accused of violating the Omnibus DWI Act, which is a DWI for the fourth time and he has seven, two counts of fleeing, two counts of aggravated assault, driving with a suspended, or revoked, license, careless driving, and refusal to submit to chemical test. Murray pleaded not guilty in district court. He’s still in the Pulaski County jail with his bond set at $100,000. His next court date is May 6th
OKAY, ONE MORE……
Maybe this is why Gregory and Marcia Abbott allegedly bought their daughter’s way into college. Their “rapper” son, Malcolm, popped out of the family’s Fifth Avenue building to smoke a giant blunt — while defending his parents and bragging about his latest CD.
“They’re blowing this whole thing out of proportion,” said Malcolm Abbott outside the home that overlooks the Metropolitan Museum of Art. “I believe everyone has a right to go to college, man.”
In between drags, Malcolm, whose father is the founder of food and beverage distributor International Dispensing Corp., admitted, “I didn’t go to college.” The toker, who sports a ponytail and raps under the name “Billa,” then shamelessly plugged his music.
“Check out my CD, ‘Cheese and Crackers,’” he said of his 2018 five-track record that includes a song titled “If I Lost My Money.” The parents are accused of paying admitted mastermind William “Rick” Singer $125,000 to boost their struggling daughter’s ACT and SAT scores.