TODAY’S GENIUS AWARD GOES TO……
According to an arrest affidavit, a Florida Man is facing a criminal charge after he allegedly woke his longtime girlfriend up by “slapping her with a cheeseburger” and then pulled her hair and kicked her.
Police say that 30-year-old Kyle Jamison Jones wielded the cheeseburger during a May 4th confrontation in the Jensen Beach home he shares with his girlfriend of seven years. While unable to identify any physical injuries on the victim, a cop noted that, “I was able to locate several remnants of said cheeseburger on her person.”
During a police interview, Jones acknowledged that “a verbal argument and physical altercation” took place, but he “decided to remain silent” when asked further about the confrontation. Charged with battery, Jones was booked into the Martin County jail on the misdemeanor charge.