TODAY’S GENIUS AWARD GOES TO……
Unhappy with the way her McChicken sandwich was prepared, a Connecticut woman stormed a McDonald’s kitchen in an attempt to prepare her own meal, and in the process assaulted the restaurant’s pregnant manager.
According to investigators, Shannelle Hanson purchased the McChicken sandwich around 8:20 p.m. Friday at the drive-thru window of a McDonald’s about two miles from her home in Norwich. The sandwich, however, apparently did not live up to the 21-year-old’s expectations.
According to a Norwich Police Department arrest report, Hanson entered the restaurant and declared that “her food was made wrong,” according to a customer who spoke with police. Hanson “requested a refund” and “then went behind the counter.”
The McDonald’s manager, who is 29 weeks pregnant, told cops that she was “slapped in the face and pushed by Hanson.” A male employee said that when he tried to separate Hanson and his manager, Hanson “slapped him in the face and pushed him.” After being taken into custody, Hanson told police she was upset that “there was nothing on” her McChicken sandwich.
AND THEN THERE’S……
What do you say when a fellow library patron turns a corner and spots you, penis in hand, furiously wanking away? Leroy McFarland, the accused public masturbator, reportedly said, “Oh, hi!” when his illicit pleasure session at a Sioux City Public Library branch was interrupted.
According to a criminal complaint charging him with indecent exposure, the 44-year-old man “looked surprised” and sought to cover himself with his sweatshirt when the female witness spotted him. A cop working at the library subsequently approached McFarland, who apparently kept touching himself after initially being spotted.
As McFarland was being walked to a police squad car, “a sex toy fell off of him,” states the complaint, which does not further describe where the item “fell” from. A search of McFarland yielded two other sex toys from a sweatshirt pocket. He is being held in the Woodbury County jail in lieu of $1000 bond.