TODAY’S GENIUS AWARD GOES TO……
A Michigan woman who claimed to be a real-life “werewolf” bit off another gal’s ear in a ghoulish attack. 44-year-old Allison Thompson Weaver allegedly told cops she was having sex with the 48-year-old gal — who was role-playing as a vampire — when she chomped down on her appendage.
When cops arrived at the apartment in Rochester Hills, they found both women partially naked and soaked in blood. The victim was also covered in scratch marks, bruises, and puncture wounds.
“Ms. Weaver told me that they were having consensual sex and that [the victim] was a vampire and that Ms. Weaver was the wolf,” Deputy Shawn Hopkins testified in court. But the victim claimed she had actually been sleeping before the attack.
The victim said, “I remember her strangling me. The next thing I remember is trying to get away and hearing her, as clear as day, with no reflection in her tone, just saying, ‘Sorry, but you’re gonna have to die today.’” Police added that Weaver pulled the Mike Tyson-meets-“Bad Moon”-style move while high and drunk.