TODAY’S GENIUS AWARD GOES TO……
Mantako, MO — Meet Brandon Cihak. After police found a bag of methamphetamine in his pocket, the 37-year-old Minnesotan disavowed ownership of the drug, claiming that the sweatpants he was wearing were not his own. Cihak, who had been searched following a traffic stop Wednesday morning in Mankato, “attempted to blame the methamphetamine on another individual,” Officer Eric Lopez noted in a probable cause statement. Cihak, Lopez added, “stated he was wearing the other individual’s pants.”
But the 5’ 11” Cihak’s bid to pin the drug rap on the unnamed fall guy/gal did not sway Lopez, who reported that “Cihak is substantially taller than the individual he claimed to be the owner of the pants.” The purported trouser owner is “only 4 feet, 1 inch tall,” according to Lopez.
Cihak was charged with a felony narcotics possession charge and booked into the Blue Earth County jail. His lengthy rap sheet includes convictions for fraud; burglary; receiving stolen property; disorderly conduct; assault; DWI; theft; narcotics possession; check forgery; domestic assault; and driving with a revoked license.