TODAY’S GENIUS AWARD GOES TO . . . . . . .
Samuel Campbell, 26, an Alabama man who was assaulted after he moved to Oregon to be with the woman he had an online relationship with.
Campbell was in a 2-year relationship with a woman and he decided to surprise her by moving to Oregon.
When he got there, she invited him to sit down at a table outside, gave him some wine, and told him to close his eyes.
However, when he did, she proceeded to bash him in the head with a baseball bat and fractured his skull.
Now he’s recovering, and she’s been arrested for assault.
Isn’t love grand?
AND THEN THERE’S …..
Roland Huntington Grace, 22, an Alaska man whose Crocs shoes left tread marks that helped link him to a series of downtown burglaries in Fairbanks.
Grace was taken in as a person of interest and he showed up to his interview wearing a pair of Crocs that matched the tread patterns at the scene.
His home was later searched and police recovered two necklaces that were taken by a recently-robbed gallery.
He was arrested and charges are pending.
OR HOW ABOUT …..
Two TSA screeners in Denver, who were caught running a scam to fondle men’s packages.
One screener would flag a handsome guy as potentially having a weapon, while the other would give him a pat down that focused primarily on his crotch.
They were both busted and fired.
So far none of their victims have come forward.
OKAY, ONE MORE …..
Lakeisha Smith, 29, a Michigan woman who tried to drive away in her SUV after it was already hooked to a tow truck.
The tow truck driver was repossessing her SUV when Smith saw it and jumped in.
She tried to drive off with it still hooked up to the tow truck, but she couldn’t get anywhere because two of her wheels were off the ground.
She instead decided to smash all of her car windows and run for it, with the driver recording the whole thing on his cell phone camera.
Online jail records show Smith was booked into the county jail later that night.