TODAY’S GENIUS AWARD GOES TO……
A jilted ex-boyfriend allegedly retaliated against a former flame whom he ran into with another man at the gym by posting revenge porn on social media.
25-year-old Alfred Kluge was arrested Tuesday on sexual cyber-harassment charges in Marathon, Florida after the nude photos were shared to his Facebook and Snapchat accounts. Kluge reportedly texted the woman following the gym encounter saying, “You forced my hand.”
The distraught woman told authorities the X-rated pics were taken while the pair was in a relationship “and were for them only.” Kluge was booked Tuesday at Stock Island Detention Center but later released.
AND THEN THERE’S……
A police report states that upon returning home from work Tuesday, a Louisiana resident discovered a woman “naked in her bathtub and eating her Cheetos.”
According to an arrest affidavit, the victim found the stranger inside her Monroe home around 5:00 p.m. When she confronted the intruder, the naked burglar claimed that an unknown male told her to break into the victim’s house.
Cops responding to a 9-1-1 call identified the naked woman as Evelyn Washington, a 29-year-old Monroe resident whose home is a little more than a mile away from the victim’s house.
An officer noted that she observed the bathtub “to be full of water” and noticed a plate of food along with half-eaten Cheetos belonging to the victim on the toilet next to the tub. Washington was arrested for burglary and criminal damage to property.
OR HOW ABOUT……
A Florida Man arrested on a drunk driving charge was in his underwear behind the wheel, according to cops who noted that the suspect’s drawers were imprinted with the word “breathalyzer” and the phrase “blow here,” which were “near his genitals.”
After spotting a Dodge pickup truck weaving on a Port St. Lucie highway around 3:00 a.m., a cop pulled the vehicle over outside a Best Western hotel. The driver, 54-year-old Daryle Lee Campbell, was handcuffed due to his “furtive actions and for officer safety.”
Campbell, barefoot and in his underwear, seemed jittery, was unsteady on his feet, and appeared to be “under the influence of a stimulant.” After Campbell declined to perform field sobriety tests, he was arrested on a DUI charge.
A search of Campbell’s ride turned up a “penis ring” in the truck’s center console, as well as “several condoms about the vehicle and binoculars sitting on the passenger seat.” Cops concluded that Campbell may have been “attempting to attract prostitutes in the area or other lewd and lascivious behavior.”
OKAY, ONE MORE……
A wild car crash in Westland, Michigan involving at least five vehicles ended with a man getting out of his car, taking off his clothes, and dancing.
Police said a pickup truck came barreling down Wayne Road and plowed into vehicles. After the crash, the driver got out of the pickup truck and got naked. Officials elaborated, stating that the man stripped all his clothes off and started dancing in the street.
One witness said that when police arrived the man was shouting, “I’m fine, I’m fine!” He eventually tried to run away but the cops nabbed him, put him in handcuffs, and took him away. The driver is still in custody as police try to determine why he was acting so erratically.