TODAY’S GENIUS AWARD GOES TO……
According to an arrest affidavit, a patron allegedly attacked a Burger King worker who would not accept several coupons for discounted whoppers.
Police say 23-year-old Miguel Latorre tried to use his coupons at a Burger King in Largo, Florida Saturday afternoon. However, there apparently was some kind of problem with Latorre’s coupons.
When Burger King worker Charlotte Price “attempted to explain the coupon conundrum,” Latorre became “engaged and frustrated by the Whopper coupon situation.”
Latorre allegedly grabbed Price by the wrist and attempted to pull her over the counter. “A physical altercation ensued,” as several witnesses observed Latorre’s coupon meltdown. Latorre was charged with battery and booked in the county jail.
AND THEN THERE’S……
Authorities say a priest found two people having sex beneath a statue at a Roman Catholic church in New Jersey. Seaside Heights police say 43-year-old Anthony Getchius, of Newark, and 48-year-old Noelle Smart, of Jersey City, are facing lewdness charges.
The frisky couple was busted after getting down and dirty underneath a statue of the Virgin Mary at Our Lady of Perpetual Help in Seaside Heights. The priest called the cops, who witnessed the couple fully engaged in lovemaking.
Police said the unholy act occurred in a “sacred area” — a secluded garden — between the church and the rectory. Both Getchius and Smart were charged with lewdness, and Getchius was also hit with charges of creating a dangerous condition and obstructing the law.
OR HOW ABOUT……
Police say that 18-year-old Anthony Damante of Milan, Ohio delivered a bag of marijuana to the wrong car in a store parking lot and is now facing drug trafficking charges.
A woman reportedly went into a store to buy lottery tickets, returned to her car, and found a strange smelling sandwich bag marked “Sour Kush” on the front seat, prompting a call to police.
A police report says officers used surveillance camera footage to determine that another woman in the lot gave Damante money and went inside the store while Damante put the 40 grams (1.4 ounces) of pot into the wrong woman’s unlocked car.
OKAY, ONE MORE……
A German candy company apologized this week for posting an “embarrassing” image of a piece of chocolate wearing a wedding dress on the day of the royal nuptials — after social media users blasted the cartoon as a racist.
The sweets outfit, which is named “Super Dickmann,” deleted the Facebook post portraying their famous Schokokuss — a chocolate-covered marshmallow treat — dressed up as Meghan Markle on her big day.
The weird image was called “racist” and “pathetic” by users on the company’s Facebook page. Spokesperson Bernd Roessler told the BBC that the company hadn’t put enough thought into the post and called it “stupid and embarrassing.”