TODAY’S GENIUS AWARD GOES TO……
According to court records, a Colorado man who groped a female passenger and then urinated on a seat inside a Frontier Airlines jet has agreed to a plea deal in connection with his in-flight antics.
46-year-old Michael Haag was arrested after the plane he was traveling on from Denver landed in South Carolina. According to an FBI affidavit, Haag was drinking double vodka and tonics aboard Flight F9864 while en route to Charleston.
Haag, who was in a middle seat, turned his attention to a female passenger seated on his other side. He was accused of touching the sleeping woman’s fingers and then her legs, which prompted the passenger to yell, “Stop touching me!”
After the woman summoned a flight attendant, Haag was moved to a seat in the plane’s last row. While in the rear of the aircraft, Haag unfastened his seatbelt “and started urinating on the seat in front of him.”
Haag was charged with interfering with a flight crew, a felony, and a misdemeanor indecent exposure count. As part of a plea deal, federal prosecutors this month filed a criminal information charging Haag with a reduced count of misdemeanor assault.
AND THEN THERE’S……
A man whose excessive flatulence forced a police detective to cut short an interrogation has pleaded guilty to federal gun and drug charges. The Kansas City Star reports that 25-year-old Sean Sykes Jr. entered the plea Monday.
The charges stem from a police traffic stop in September in Kansas City, Missouri, in which officers found a backpack with drugs and guns. Sykes was a passenger in the vehicle.
A detective reported that when asked for his address, Sykes “leaned to one side of his chair and released a loud fart before answering.” Court documents say Sykes “continued to be flatulent” and the detective was forced to quickly end the interview. Sykes will be sentenced at later date, after a pre-sentence report is completed.
OR HOW ABOUT……
Police in Ocala, Florida are looking for the woman who lit a rack of underwear on fire inside a Macy’s store. The suspect walked into the store’s Paddock Mall location at and reportedly wandered around for forty-five minutes.
Firefighters arrived shortly after she left and saw light smoke coming from the mall’s north entrance. A witness said, “It was a bunch of smoke rolling out and people were walking – running outside.”
The sprinkler system had already extinguished the flames, but it left a good bit of water in the apparel section. The sprinklers needed to be reset and fans were brought in to help ventilate the store.
Luckily, nobody was hurt in the incident. Officer Meghan Shay told local media the store’s staff thought they were smelling gas. The mall released a statement on its website that announced the store would remain closed the remainder of that day.
OKAY, ONE MORE……
A man whose neck tattoo ironically bears the image of a cross was arrested after police say he broke into a church. 27-year-old Joshua Trevor Knapp of Mount Holly, North Carolina is accused of breaking into Boyce Memorial ARP Church in Kings Mountain and walking away with $155 in cash.
Knapp is charged with felony counts of breaking and entering into a place of worship, larceny after breaking and entering, and possessing stolen goods. It was also reported that Knapp was released from prison in July after serving nine months for drug charges and breaking into vehicles.
He has several other convictions for breaking into vehicles, impaired driving, and consuming alcohol while under 21 and has served three separate stints in prison. He was booked into Gaston County Jail on Saturday under $5,000 bond.