TODAY’S GENIUS AWARD GOES TO……
The self-described “World’s Dumbest Criminal” pleaded guilty today to stealing a lawnmower and a weed trimmer from a Walmart in Florida. 46-year-old Michael Taber signed a plea agreement copping to a grand theft charge during an appearance in Circuit Court in Nassau County.
Taber was arrested in late-April after he wheeled a shopping cart out of Walmart without paying for a $258 Snapper lawnmower and a $148 Murray weed trimmer. After driving away with the stolen goods, Taber was pulled over and arrested by a sheriff’s deputy.
Taber told the cop he planned to pawn the items, adding that “pain makes you do stupid things.” Taber claimed that he needed to shoplift in order to afford his medications. A deputy reported that, “Mr. Taber also said he is ‘the world’s dumbest criminal.’”
AND THEN THERE’S……
A driver in England was caught speeding because he didn’t want his McDonald’s meal to get cold. And after his car details were checked out by cops it was discovered that the Volkswagen Golf he was driving was uninsured.
A spokesman for South Yorkshire Police said: “It’s been a positive night shift on the beat. This vehicle’s driver decided to overtake our officers in an unmarked vehicle at excessive speeds, putting everyone’s life at risk.”
He added, “All because he didn’t want his McDonald’s to go cold. It just so happened this vehicle wasn’t insured either. It’s safe to say the driver wasn’t “lovin’ it.”
OKAY, ONE MORE……
The teacher for a class in New Hampshire in which students were videotaped singing about the Ku Klux Klan to the tune of “Jingle Bells” has been placed on paid administrative leave.
Dover Superintendent William Harbron told Foster’s Daily Democrat Tuesday that putting John Carver on leave will allow school officials to fully investigate what happened.
Harbron said in a letter to the school community Monday the incident was part of a class assignment about the Reconstruction period in American history. Carver has not responded to requests for comment.