TODAY’S GENIUS AWARD GOES TO……
St. Augustine, FL — A Florida Woman who had to be pulled from the cab of a fire engine that she tried to steal denied being under the influence of the usual street potions, but said that she had taken the “Elixir of Life” before trying to boost the emergency vehicle. Responding to a call about a woman acting erratically on the beach in St. Augustine Beach, cops and fire rescue workers discovered 39-year-old Kailani Jo Kroll in distress.
Kroll, who lives two blocks from the beach, said she needed CPR and other treatment.
But while being escorted to an ambulance, she began running back and forth. “Due to no crime being committed at this point…I had no reason to chase her,” Officer Brandon Hand reported. But as police and firemen began entering their vehicles to depart the scene, someone yelled, “She’s stealing the truck!” Kroll, investigators allege, had opened the door of an unsecured fire engine and got in the driver’s seat. St. Johns County Fire Rescue personnel responded by pulling her from the cab.
After reportedly struggling with cops who tried to handcuff her, Kroll offered an apology, according to a police report detailing the incident. “I’m sorry for trying to take the truck, I lost my marbles,” she said. When Officer Hand asked if she “was under the influence of anything,” Kroll replied “she was not but had taken the ‘Elixir of Life.’” She was arrested for grand theft auto, a felony, and resisting law enforcement officers, a misdemeanor.